I thought a lot before giving this name to my blog post. But after what I went through today, nothing else seems better than this title to describe the people who are responsible for death of a young, full of life, aspiring, devoted – son, brother and a husband, whose life was cut short for no reason of his apart from the fact that he was a ‘MALE’ and a loving ‘Husband’ somehow not liked by his wife and his mother in law.

I am talking about Lokesh Singh, 27, who hanged himself on the night of May 20th after failing to bring back his wife from her maternal home, even though he pleaded her to think about their 8 month old son who desperately needed love and care of her mother. Lokesh called his wife’s mother, father and brother minutes before hanging himself, requesting them to let him speak to his wife once, but they said NO and replied – “Voh tere liye mar chuki hai, ab tu bhi jaakar mar ja (She’s dead for you , now you also die)”. In his suicide note, Lokesh writes how much he loved his wife, and how his cruel mother in law did not let them live happily.

I met his family today. It was difficult to see the wailing mother who did not stop crying even for a second, with only hope in her eyes that her son would get justice……

Lokesh married one and a half year ago. He was working as a makeup artist with a news channels in NCR (National Capital Region). He had recently joined this job and was quite happy to have found a stable source of income, allowing him to dedicate more time to his kid and family. Prior to this, he was working as a freelancer and in a very short time, had become quite famous among the artists and performers in Delhi. Lokesh’s world comprised of his mother, father, two brothers, two sisters, his kid and his wife. He loved his world, more so his kid and his wife, but sadly, that itself became the reason for his departure from this world.

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In his mother’s own words – “his only dream was to marry a girl who could love his parents. He did not ask for anything else from his wife apart from being kind and good to his father and me. But she couldn’t do that. As soon as she entered the house, she asked for a separate kitchen. We had never divided our kitchen though my elder son got married five years ago. But she made us do so. That was alright. We just wanted both of them to be happy. But she wasn’t happy to stay at our home and always found reasons to fight. She wanted to stay at her home and got furious whenever we stopped her from doing so. I am a heart patient and Lokesh was always worried about that. He was hurt that his wife did not care for me at all, but still he never said anything to her. He loved her madly. His life revolved around his son and his wife. But she and her mother did everything possible to harass him. My daughter in law wanted to abort the child when she was seven months pregnant. We requested her somehow to not take that extreme step. But even after the kid was born, she left little baby at home and stayed for months at her mother’s place. Which mother would do that? She never cared for the kid nor for my son. My son’s only plea to her was to come back and take care of her child. She never did that, instead got my son beaten up by her family, local goons whenever he went to bring her back. Her mother assaulted my son; even then Police did not take any action. They wanted us to compromise. No one believed him. He gave in finally, not able to bear the harassment. She and her mother have killed my son. They have eaten up his life. How do I bring my son back? Please tell me where should I go??”

I was sitting silent hearing Lokesh’s mother’s story, wondering in my mind, how a woman can be so cruel, even to her own kid. Lokesh’s son Ansh was in front of my eyes – a kid bereft of her mother and father both. While grandfather was acting as mother, trying hard to make the kid sleep, little one’s eyes were still searching for a glimpse of either his father or mother. I couldn’t stop tears rolling down my eyes. What wrong did this little soul do? Why is he being punished?

Lokesh never wanted this soul to be punished though! It’s heart wrenchingly painful to know, but in his best attempts to save himself and his son from the atrocities of his wife, Lokesh strangulated his son before hanging himself!!! The little one fell unconscious and Lokesh thought he is dead. He then ended his life. And all of this is written in the suicide note. He wrote “I am ending my life along with my son. We would be happy in other world. No one can take away my child from me. Your mother (his mother-in-law) can never see us living happily together.”

Can anyone imagine the pain this man was going through to have gathered guts to kill his own son? Can anyone understand his helplessness to have decided to take such a big step?

I did not have any answers to all those questions spinning in my head there! All I could however see was more and more questions in the eyes of an old father, mother, a sister, a brother, that WHY? Why did their loving son and brother do this? Why did he become so weak that he had to do this?

I perhaps had the answer to this question of theirs….Lokesh was threatened by his wife of false dowry case. She had told him that she would get the entire family behind bars had he not given in to all her demands. Sure, it would have been traumatic for him to imagine his family going through all that. And he thought of leaving this world along with his son ….perhaps the only way out for him in the circumstances he was in!

Another Martyr of Marriage!

One number added to those 60,000+ married men who end their lives every year in this country. I don’t know what Lokesh did was right or wrong but I know for sure, just a year and a half into marriage, he was already into hell and he thought with him sacrificing his life, he could probably save the trauma his parents might have to go through if he continued….This becomes the reason why men are giving up today, There is no HOPE, there is no re-dressal, there is no way they can get out of a bad marriage without sacrificing their and their family’s dignity…and that’s when giving it all up seem the best option.

Lokesh gave up before he could be preyed upon with false 498A, Domestic Violence and other gender biased laws. But he was preyed upon. His predators were successful in killing him….his only fault….he was a Loving Husband and a doting Father!

Status of Case: It’s been one week but no one who abetted suicide of Lokesh have been arrested. It is pertinent to note here that as soon as a married woman dies in mysterious circumstances in India within seven years of her marriage, the husband and his entire family are immediately put behind under the charges of dowry death.

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Comments
  1. Shantanu Kasta says:

    It’s very painful to hear such news of young future of India committing suicide. How painless are the people who tend to push them to commit such an act. If it were a women committing suicide then it would have become a news. Remember the Geetika Suicide case. but then I feel very unfortunate that we men are born in India where justice has become the toy of the feminists.

  2. Tanveer says:

    RIP, Shame on our country laws, brothers please stand for injustice, don’t give your life for such unscrupulous women and wife’s, the day you stand, no one will able to get you down.. may god bless us all..

  3. kumar says:

    innocent husbands ending their life coz we do not have any support from law,police and some time not even from society.For him i really want to Change RIP menas -Return If Possible .

    • Ismail says:

      Its tragic but gender biased laws destroying young talent.Men should tackle these issues with wisdom & stop becoming scapegoats & emotional….

  4. rohan gupta says:

    what a shame. Every 9 minute a man is committing suicide and we are silent. Why no such scale protest like one delhi incident!

  5. Rohan Gupta says:

    what a shame. Every 9 minute a man is committing suicide and we are silent. Why no such big scale protest like one delhi incident!

  6. Romi says:

    Romi Abhimanyu Lokesh, you will not be forgotten, we are on the way to getting you justice bro. the criminal family will feel the heat for a long time to come… your child will know what mommy did and how her parents connived in your death.

  7. dinesh says:

    Heartly sorry to read this mesaaege.Our laws also helpful to male also.

  8. Rohan Gupta says:

    what a shame of being part of a country where male agony is completely ignored! Man gives in all his effort to bring happiness to his family and a woman comes in and break him and his family apart! People still behave like illiterate and rudely towards men and do not care about men’s sentiments! Cruel and inhuman biased laws like 498a, Domestic Violence is taking life of families. Don’t marry is the safest bet or be like Lokesh! Thank you writer for your eye opening efforts in a crowd of blind people!

  9. Amit says:

    Great article…one correction – “Status of Case: It’s been one week but one one who abetted suicide of Lokesh has been arrested.” , I believe you mean it to be “no one arrested…”

  10. Imran says:

    And People say there s Democracy in India……Supreme Court Judgements clearly indicate the rising number of cases where gender biased laws are misused to harass poor men n their families but rarely the false complainants are punished (if any)

  11. subratopatna says:

    A very painful story.

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