One Day – Such different experiences!!!

Posted: September 17, 2010 in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

16th September 2010.

Started the day  very ordinarily. Did not have anything much in my mind, but what a day it turned out to be.

had experiences i would remember for my life time…some good one so bad…that too through the same medium.

I have been going to attend documentary screenings at India habitat Center since last few days. i did not think much before heading off to the center even today. But i was shocked to see two very different documentaries revolving around little similar themes…but in such a different way!

The first one was “EDIE & THEA : A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT” , a beautiful film on a lesbian couple who stayed together for 42 years, and officially married when they were 80 something. The films is a beautiful portrayal of what love is all about. Its not only about Sex. Its not only about lust, its about two lives coming together to share and experience life together as one. It was so warming to see two people love each other so much, love which is beyond any physical or sexual boundations. Edie and Thea have shared moments of love, joy, sorrow, for these long years and have stood by each other in every moment. Both of them have been looked down by their own parents, siblings, society , but their loved for each other never shake due to any of these. The film reminisces their lives through photographs clicked by edie and thea . Its heartening to see that they have captured almost each and every pal of their life in these images. And just by watching these images, you understand how much love they have for each other. Thea was paralyzed many years ago and Edie has been taking care of her since then. Thea uses an electric wheel chair that takes here wherever she wants to go. And Edie accompanies her……

The couple loves dancing and has been dancing together since all these years. Even though Thea is paralyzed, Edie sits on the hand of the chair and dances with her. The moments are so beautiful that you fall in love with these two individuals spreading the message of love. Edie sets Thea’s bed everyday which takes almost one hour. She doesnt forget to passionately kiss the love of her life so that she has the most beautiful sleep everyday. She becomes the support for Thea when she swims, it is just so beautiful to see how thea is life of edie and edie is life of thea.

Even writing this brings tears in my eyes……i have never seen such a beautiful couple ever in my life! Even i used to think how can a man love a man or how a woman love another woman, but after watching this film….i have realized that love has no boundaries……you love other person for what they are and not for what nature has made them like. People say that this love is not what nature permits…but after watching Edie and Thea i feel, love is the most natural feeling and there’s nothing that can overshadow it….the nature itself!!

While i was still mesmerized by the beautiful visuals i just saw, the next documentary which was also based on sexuality and the idea of love and sex in India started. I was sure that the film will talk about the way Indians discuss and talk about sex and love behind the walls, i never imagined in my wild dreams what i was about to see.  “LOVE IN INDIA”  is the worst film i have ever seen. A film based on personal queries, a film that sets the agenda of the complete thing wrong, a film that is made to tell that sex is the start and end of all, a film that explores our culture and traditions in a complete idiotic way, a film where the whole intention of the filmmaker is to show how sexy his own girl friend can look and how he is so sexually attracted to her. I could never imagine a filmmaker would show himself having sex with his girlfriend in front of the camera, i don’t know if that would really tell how open/narrow we are in terms of our thinking towards this whole thing. I just could not understand how can a person let anyone and everyone speak about their own understanding of what Radha and Krishna’s love was all about. A film which is full of nudity, illogical sequences of a tribal couple from some forest which is not shown doing anything except drinking some liquor, few friends talking about love and sex, actually portrays the real belief India has about love or Sex. Two couples smooching on the camera, youngsters drinking and discussing about sex, a female being asked to seduce the audience in a third class movie…is that what the whole India thinks about celebrating and enjoying love and sex as a feeling? One of the filmmakers friend, an advertising professional in Gurgaon says that he was confused when a french asked him how do couple in India have sex, as they are always surrounded by family members. He laughed while saying that he couldn’t really know how to answer that fellow. Its an irony that the friend of this filmmaker who is showing himself making out with her girl friend again and again on camera, not bothered about who is around them or anyone disturbing their privacy, did not know how to answer such a simple question!! To top all of it, the film has someone saying that “Radha was an expert in all 64 postures of Kamasutra” and she was an “Aunt” of Krishna. I don’t know myself how true these facts are, but i am sure the truth is not so distorted.

I have never walked out of a film however shady it is, this was the first film in my life that i could just not tolerate. I am not a conservative person, but i feel the emotion of Love and Sex is too sacred and personal to everyone to talk or show on screen. I understand that we have porn films, but everyone know its not emotions, but business. I also agree that these emotions and feelings are suppressed in Indian Society and we are not so open about it, but thats the way we have been. Its so funny that while people in the west are turning to Yoga, and religious practices, we Indians feel pride in letting go all our traditions and values.

I was utterly shocked by this so called “Bold” documentary which was nothing but a sheer representation of someone’s wild fantasy on screen. I feel the filmmaker utterly forgot about the beauty that relationships have in India. He talked about females being burnt by boys family here, but he never talked about the lowest number of divorce rates in India than anywhere in the world. The youth today is so confused because we perhaps don’t know whether to completely ape west, which our conscience doesn’t allow or completely be Indian, which we feel is so “orthodox”.

But anyhow, it was a bad bad bad experience to watch such a pornographic “documentary” in the name of discovering what Indians feel about Love and Sex!

To my respite, the next few hours helped me come out of the experience i just had. I was invited to MDI gurgaon to attend Qawali by Warsi brothers.

It was another culture of India, which was right there in front of me. A culture that is so old and yet so beautiful and soul soothing. While Aziz Ahmed Khan stole our hearts with his shayari and perfect comedy in between, his son waris navaaz stole the show by his amazing jugalbandi between the tabla and dholak. The whole audience clapped throughout the performance, and was literally dancing in joy. Last i attended a qawali performance was 1995, by wadali brothers, this one was such a great refresher after so many years.

i specifically remember this amazing sher by khan sahab “मज़ा मोहोब्बत का तो तब है , ना हम सरकें न तुम सरको, अगर सरको तो यूँ सरको ,क़लम कर दो मेरे सर को

The whole performance was full of  such amazing shers and wonderful music. I enjoyed myself thoroughly and feel music really has the potential to take us away from all the stress and unwanted thoughts. Especially when u have seen something so disturbing before 😉

The evening continued with some amazing discussions with professors at MDI. It was fascinating to see the interest of everyone for documentary films and media in general!

Last, i slept reconfirming to myself, that whatever happens happens for good. Had i not seen the stupid film before, i would not have enjoyed the performance this much 🙂

PS: The comments expressed about the film Love in India are my personal and do not intend to hurt the filmmaker or anyone. Its my personal understanding of the film and the whole subject.


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